accessory

i met him unexpectedly

someplace we both wanted to be.

he claimed to be a friend

of a friend

but turned out to be much more in the end.

his face could erase

all the empty space

in my head

and replace it all with humility instead.

i didn't like what he did to me,

or maybe i did;

it was too early to tell

and i was sometimes independent,

but my heart knew me well.

i found myself stumbling over him,

dangling from him,

and soon it became clear

i was into his ways,

and so went the days

as i took it all in stride

and for once, vowed not to hide.

he didn't require words

to dutifully inquire;

just needed a beat

and a place for hire,

a full-blown choir.

he struck my every chord

and i'd beg someone's holy lord

to keep him in my weary life,

by His will or by his own accord.

a long time ago

i cared for one so

but he turned out to be

naught more than shadow.

he haunted my nights

and it took an end-all plea

before i could break free.

this one knew the time

and without reason or rhyme

was nothing with which to compare

the desperations of despair,

for he knew me and although

i couldn't really say

i was his favorite show,

it wasn't hopeless as long ago.

he brought me to my knees

with the greatest of ease

and still i was unsure

if maybe i was tangled in something

more than my heart could handle

or just kindling a new candle

of adventurous aspiration.

could be my damnation

or my salvation.

come what may,

he was perfection

and his aura in its reflection

told me not to fret,

that he wouldn't sell his soul

for anything alive

or objectified.

he made a vow

and i didn't understand

but i know it now --

he won't drag me down,

make me cry, steal my crown.

he'll be

an honest accessory

and i shall then be

valiant exclusively.

08.2005