like sand

like sand through fingers

i fell from you, not sure yet

if i meant to fall

07.2013

[written in response to the prompt "Sand" over at Haiku Heights. xo]

hostage heart

a recluse.

i believe that is the word

you more often than not

choose for me, perhaps

because you don't see my emotion

until you call me one.

a recluse, indeed.

ought it offend

i'd throw it back but

the truth to it is that i do not

share nearly enough of myself with you;

green and gambling on the passing of trains,

that's what you make of

my folly

through a world that will not forgive

should i not dance in its melée.

i have no use for what's written:

i want to break the lines

and make the loudest of waves. and also

i want to give the explosion of love inside

of me

away.

there is a reason you cannot see

my head and my heart: there is

good reason why no one can see.

they are flawed and brimming!

they are mad and forlorn!

they are in sync and evergreen!

it is too much for strangers to handle;

you can't handle them, dear brother.

you must be considerate of

a heart held hostage

and a brain on overdose.

surely your faith must extend beyond

the paper doll girl

to what she is

when she has form

and breath.

you must let the recluse be

a recluse

around you; she doesn't

know you're knocking,

in pursuit of her hostage heart...!

06.2011

when the makeup and masks are gone

when the makeup and masks are gone

unkempt girl doesn't believe in

the woman everyone tells her she is

unkempt girl

throws salt over her shoulders

and tries again tomorrow

08.2011

no one is my warrior

on days like this

the mirror doesn't know what to do with me

and tries not to scream, in fact,

avoiding shattering both of us at the same time. i

wish i'd been born with snakes in

my hands so i'd have an automatic release

from the ugliness of such states of mind.

i'm not anyone's heralded warrior.

i do battle with myself because

no one is my warrior, either.

i think it's somebody's holiday now

but i've been anemic since September

so don't expect my sympathies; i

usually stay in bed after the war:

some days it's entirely too much effort

to put my boots on correctly.

04.20.2012

she knew the city

she knew the city wasn't

actually floating

but that's how it seemed from

the windows

and she liked that best. she

hated the mess.

04.2013

live again (Connor's song)

carried on high, the news
of you was a welcome circumstance,
not expected but certainly
not to be denied, for it had been
only years since we'd had anything worth being
remotely elated over.

though you were to be the first of your kind, you
had potential to be the greatest,
or at least unique;
maybe you'd bring some sort of
a new outlook on this life,
something worth hanging around for.

but even the most hyped expectations would
undermine the value you bestowed, and
right on time;
mostly we were just grateful you
arrived and renewed a long-lost zest for life that must have
needed your charms to live again.

01.2010

something there

hidden from view, her heart was evolving;
what was this feeling here and now?

she didn't believe she could let love in
like this: what else was she to do?

she thieved a glance, peering out at him
unawares: was it supposed to feel so invigorating?

the heart she possessed she knew she could not fool;
how was she to betray it now?

she returned to the comfort of sheltering tree
musing, intrigued; was it she who'd learned to love him?

04.21.2010