to let those people whom i have loved go

people fall out of love all the time.

or at least they say they do. but i don't

know if anyone ever really,

truly and completely casts it off;

how do you

so condemn someone who has been

such a part of you?

this thundering heart never was good at forgetting or even

letting someone go; it does not warrant

closure that way. it only aches for a while

but then it always remembers

and it always feels

something.

it will always feel something.

it will always feel the ghastly remains

of every love.

one love held my hand as he chose his drugs over me

and i let it go on thinking

my rational heart wouldn't notice, thinking

my rational heart wouldn't mind

a casualty.

one love took his time reeling me in only

to cast me back out again,

a fish on a wire he set free

right before the friendly-fire; i was sure my

wholesome heart could forgive; i was sure my

wholesome heart would forget

the beating.

one love has struggled through years

of unrequited torment, quite differently

and always at the forefront

of thought.

i let his incongruities slip past my understanding

so i could capture him as something more

than what he was

and my clever heart caught the mismatch,

and my clever heart was consumed,

a victim.

i can say i do not love them

anymore

but my thundering heart would

disagree.

they left their marks and chose their ways

but the heart is still the same heart.

a wiser one, but the same one.

i will not be so arrogant to assume

it has not been as affected as i.

to let them go,

to let those people whom i have loved go,

would render me as naive as my youth

and much less prepared to love

the next

properly or

as deserved.

07.2011