or at least they say they do. but i don't
know if anyone ever really,
truly and completely casts it off;
how do you
so condemn someone who has been
such a part of you?
this thundering heart never was good at forgetting or even
letting someone go; it does not warrant
closure that way. it only aches for a while
but then it always remembers
and it always feels
it will always feel something.
it will always feel the ghastly remains
of every love.
one love held my hand as he chose his drugs over me
and i let it go on thinking
my rational heart wouldn't notice, thinking
my rational heart wouldn't mind
one love took his time reeling me in only
to cast me back out again,
a fish on a wire he set free
right before the friendly-fire; i was sure my
wholesome heart could forgive; i was sure my
wholesome heart would forget
one love has struggled through years
of unrequited torment, quite differently
and always at the forefront
i let his incongruities slip past my understanding
so i could capture him as something more
than what he was
and my clever heart caught the mismatch,
and my clever heart was consumed,
i can say i do not love them
but my thundering heart would
they left their marks and chose their ways
but the heart is still the same heart.
a wiser one, but the same one.
i will not be so arrogant to assume
it has not been as affected as i.
to let them go,
to let those people whom i have loved go,
would render me as naive as my youth
and much less prepared to love