is that she can always always
sense a lingering set of eyes,
remaining a moment too long
where perhaps they should not be.
i do not love you still
but your silky blues so honorably betray you.
it's the same awkward conversation.
you compliment my snake bracelet and i
say thank you and look away
and ask how your father is.
it's like that apocalyptic minute in your car
when we gambled our feelings at once
and the dice all landed on yes, let's be lovers.
it's like us and our movie-scene first kiss
on the front steps where anyone could see.
it's like i'm 21 again.
but you haven't let me go,
even after i asked you to.
i toss back Chardonnays like water, you know me,
and when there's music again
i'm on the floor
because it's a wedding and
because all of my friends' hearts are full as ever
and that means we should be
dancing like we did in college.
i do and we are drinking each other's smiles, all of us,
and you are there too at last
and i catch you looking
and you look too long.
you look at me,
glowing from my pores,
and i am in an instant, in some words
the one who got away.
you aren't supposed to wonder when you stare; your
girlfriend should be where your
eyes end up. but i am
the gravity tethering you to uneven ground
i'm no longer standing on.
i am no fire worth ogling,
no explosion in the sky. i am only
the girl you thought you knew,
the one who erupted into your heart,
a whimsical twirl in sync with your beat:
melancholy but all at once
wrong for me, wrong like
how you look too long at me